


Sunday Morning

by elena_stidham



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Banana Fish Reverse Big Bang, Collaboration, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Inspired by Fanart, Light Angst, M/M, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 11:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19462828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elena_stidham/pseuds/elena_stidham
Summary: It’s incredible, really, just how quickly Eiji can improve some terrible thoughts on an early day.





	Sunday Morning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fiveflats (whyzee)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whyzee/gifts).



> WARNINGS FOR: Language
> 
> SONGS USED TO GET IN THE MOOD: I have a playlist for an original story I’m writing, Memory: Pulse Project, and I’m listening to that. I also listened to this to give me this feeling of waking up in a mixed mood in the morning:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lh3keXRnSc4
> 
> So this is my work for the Banana Fish Reverse Big Bang! I am doing Dawn’s piece, Sunday Morning, and I’m so so happy that I was able to get it! I was so nervous I wasn’t going to get it and I had to like leap as soon as I could haha. 
> 
> Anyways. She had a whole prompt in about it on her twitter and I really hope I did it well! This is the prompt:  
> https://twitter.com/nakimooshi/status/1103342984077049860?s=21
> 
> This is also the art piece this fic is based on!  
> https://twitter.com/nakimooshi/status/1146448849851973632?s=21
> 
> I love the picture so much aaahhhh. 
> 
> Anyways, I am really hoping that I did this right and that Dawn likes it, and I hope you like it too! I really was focusing on trying to get the emotions matched right more so than plot-wise, but I think I managed to make both balanced in the story. I’m so thankful to be part of this fandom event and I can’t wait to be involved more in the future!
> 
> My tumblr and twitter is elenastidham.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> -Elena

When he wakes up, the other side of his bed is cold. He expected so. Eiji had to wake up early in the morning for work – today the magazine wanted him to take pictures about a feature story covering the recent turn of events in Japanese history: a new era. Reiwa.

Beautiful harmony.

It’s funny, really, being alive for a new era. It’s a moment in time that rocks somebody through their entire soul. They were born in Heisei, they were born during the era titled “achieving peace,” yet Ash’s life had never once achieved a moment of peace. Yet, almost a year into living a new life in Japan, a new era emerges, a new era that brings a beautiful harmony.

It’s sickeningly symbolic. His whole life he’d been working towards achieving peace in his life, and now, together, he and Eiji have formed a beautiful harmony, in a little apartment, in a little town, on a little island in the middle of the ocean. New York was so unbelievably massive, and now, with the flip of a switch, he’s in a place so incredibly tiny.

He turns, reaching across the bed and – that’s right. Eiji’s not there.

With a deep breath he sits up, looking at the cold side of his bed again. Ash was used to the mornings where he’d wake up and Eiji would be gone, but he was never quite fond of the way it made him feel. Perhaps, nobody would be, after having the kind of bond they have.

Their shitty radio on the nightstand hums louder than normal, a new song streaming in after some Spanish artist before it.

_Sunday morning brings the dawning_

_It's just a restless feeling by my side_

_Early dawning, Sunday morning_

_It's just the wasted years so close behind_

_Watch out, the world's behind you_

_There's always someone around you who will call_

_It's nothing at all_

_Sunday morning and I'm falling_

_I've got a feeling I don't want to know_

_Early dawning, Sunday morning_

_It's all the streets you crossed not so long ago_

He’s only halfway listening to these lyrics that sing. He’s sitting up, the room chilled from the curling wind and snow outside, his striped pyjamas feeling more like an extra layer of skin rather than a proper blanket or a coat. His window itself is a bit foggy, but at the same time, it’s clear enough that he can see through it fine.

It looks almost like the window he watched when he flew Japan for the first time. He sees the early winter street, and it almost looks like those clouds above the earth. There is this odd heaviness in his chest while he had sat on the plane, yet there is also this overwhelming feeling of light. He can’t place his finger on what he was feeling that night he left New York, and he finds the familiar emotion creeping up on him again as he stares out the window of their bedroom.

Was the room a bit colder? He’d stopped paying attention.

He has too much time to think, now.

Ash is here, in the middle of a tiny, quiet life, where nothing that ever happens. Yet, his mind only remembers elsewhere, a loudness, where everything seems to be going wrong. Something must be going wrong. It only _could_ go wrong here, right?

It’s all he ever worries about, it seems. It seems that the only option left is for things to go wrong in a place with so little going on. It’s not natural, this kind of quiet. It’s not supposed to carry this lack of sound.

And then he’s angry – why the fuck is he so paranoid about this? Why the fuck can’t he just move on and live a proper fucking life like every other fucking person on this tiny ass island where nothing fucking happens? What the hell did he go through all that shit for?

He can’t seem to work this out. Everything – _everything_ – he had ever been through had ripped years from his life. It can’t have been for no reason. He wants to work this out, he wants to live in the quiet, yet another part of him refuses to let go. It’s a part of him that seems like it will never be able to move on. Something might jump out – somebody might attack. Things can’t be _this_ peaceful, right?

The memories of his past play on repeat in his head, haunting in every crevice and curve with ghostly splatters of blood.. He doesn’t realise that his hands are fidgeting without Eiji now. They’re twitching. Muscle memory’s starting to play – starting to remind him that there’s someone he has to kill. That there is something in his life that needs to die.

There is no one else left – that the only thing that remains is he and Eiji, and Eiji never deserved this. Nobody else needs to die, yet something has to go. What stays? What goes?

He’s angry again – paranoia is something he felt when he _first_ got to Japan. He shouldn’t be feeling something like this after living here for this long. He can’t just be left alone without starting to slip into some kind of anxiety, and he absolutely hates himself for it. He used to be on his own, perfectly fine in New York. Then again, in his past, every waking and sleeping moment was on edge, living in fear of tragedy. Suddenly being placed in a situation where he doesn’t have to think 30-50 steps ahead is bound to cause some kind of uneasiness, right?

It _sounds_ right. It _feels_ right. But deep within the quiet, something is still wrong. Why does the quiet feel so wrong?

Ash remembers the last time he saw snow fall like this – floating, yet crashing in the wind. He remembers watching it one evening in Central Park, inches away from a body of water. He held a picture in his hand. A girl. Murdered that past summer. Fourteen.

Eiji was almost taken from him in the same way – lost in that fucking execution room, beaten down like an animal. Even now, millions of miles away, Ash is still afraid he might wake up back in a different home, in a rundown apartment, carrying the guilt of losing someone he failed to save.

Again.

He had bought a blouse for her, just a few nights before she died. To this day, Ash is still terrified to buying anything that Eiji might wear. The last thing he would ever want to see is Eiji’s life draining from his eyes, blood soaking his hands and a voice that’s crying, losing every ounce of energy and his life—

The phone rings.

He looks around, forgetting that this sound even exists for a brief moment. He has a phone? That’s right. It’s on the nightstand. It’s not an alarm.

Ash picks it up and checks the screen. He’s learned to never answer numbers that are unknown to him, but this number has a caller I.D. beaming right across the light. A picture takes over the entire screen, with a pretty font of hiragana at the top of the eyes.

_えいじ_

_Eiji._

It’s a call Ash is quick to answer, suddenly afraid that something is wrong, or that it’s someone else on the other end of the line who’s holding him hostage, or perhaps it’s some horrible combination of the two, but he is greeted with neither. There is only one voice on the other line. There is only Eiji. No interruptions. No panic or coded screaming. It’s just Eiji, talking to him, like any other Sunday.

“Hey, Eiji,” Ash greets, with a soft relieved sigh. Eiji doesn’t seem to catch on the tone of his voice, the shift in his breath – perhaps over the phone he just sounds tired, like he’s just woken up. In a way, that’s not wrong.

“Finally up?” Eiji chuckles lightly. One can almost feel the smirk he’s making on the other end of the line, and Ash can only return the grin even though nobody can see. There’s a faint rustle of noise in the background of Eiji’s side. Voices, it seems. Busy. A workplace. Is he on break?

“Yeah, yeah,” Ash retaliates with a soft smile. It fades after a split second, but he tries to keep his voice upbeat, at the very least careful enough not to cause any disturbance in the daylight. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Eiji nods. “We’re just on lunch break, now. I figured I’d call you and see how you were doing.”

Ash checks the time. Lunch? It can’t possibly be a decent time for lunch. It’s pushing afternoon though, it seems, and for someone awake as early as Eiji, it would only be reasonable for lunch to happen right around now, even if Ash hasn’t even thought about breakfast yet.

“What’re you eating right now?” Ash asks, trying to peel his mind away from himself with the subject of Eiji, and only Eiji. Small talk helps with that, because it can always lead to something else.

“Natto.”

Ash snorts. Of course that’s what Eiji’s having. He never makes it at home because he knows Ash absolutely hates it, and he refuses to kiss his lips if there is even a hint of the taste of natto. Of course, most of it is to be a tease, but he can’t help but think about how funny it really is how Eiji would only have it in private like it’s a dirty little secret. “Am I a joke to you?”

Eiji erupts in a chorus of giggles.

Ash can only feel light course through his entire heart. “Sorry honey, darling, light of my life.”

Eiji just laughs through it a few moments more. “I’ll make sure to brush my teeth when I get home.”

“Yeah you better,” Ash chuckles. It’s almost dark, but it’s a type of sarcasm that rings with genuine amounts of love and banter. He debates for a moment, then he smiles lightly. “I think I’m going to have a stomach ache today.”

“You can predict that now?” Eiji laughs, with the tone of voice Ash can almost feel him raising his eyebrow.

Ash nods, even though he knows that it’s not at all visible. “Considering I know of a way to make my stomach hurt, it becomes easy to predict.”

Eiji’s tone shifts to where he’s suddenly worried. There’s a faint rustle on the other end, like he’s starting to sit up straight. “What do you—What are you going to do?”

“You know what sounds really good Eiji?” Ash is grinning long, now, in the most teasing manner he could muster about the situation. “A milkshake sounds really good right now.”

There’s a sigh of relief on the other end, but it turns into a breathy chuckle, then a sudden sharp intake of breath. Ash could practically _hear_ Eiji realising what he was saying and what he was meaning to get at in this conversation.

“Do _not,_ ” Eiji chuckles light, but stern. “You’re lactose intolerant.”

“But it sounds nice,” Ash is trying so hard not to laugh on the phone, trying to sound like a typical whiny baby to make Eiji giggle in his direction. These giggles make him weak. They make him want to sob. These giggles control every fibre and essence of Ash’s happiness that if he were to go a day without hearing it he probably wouldn’t fall asleep at night. “I can take a Tums.”

“No,” Eiji groans. He groans long, and loud, then he sighs. He pauses for a brief moment, before he just starts to lightly giggle. “Sweetie.”

There’s the sound.

The sun is suddenly brighter this morning, the heaviness in his chest suddenly a little lighter. Ash can feel the aches and pains in his heart dwindling away and only echoing the melody of giggles on the other end of a phone line. Eiji is his sunlight. Moonlight. Sprinkled in with stars. It’s only natural the sound makes him feel this way.

“What flavour are you grabbing?” Eiji asks, finally, already starting to give up on the playful bickering as if it would convince Ash to avoid anything with dairy inside of it.

Ash shrugs. “Probably vanilla, or strawberry.” Strawberry is a favourite of his. Vanilla is another go-to, for when he’s feeling rather plain – which is rather common for Ash’s taste. There isn’t a moment in the world where Eiji doesn’t tease him of this, but that won’t change an American. 

Eiji nods, pausing for a moment. Ash knows what’s coming next. Eiji’s seemed to hit the point to where he’ll just let Ash lay in the hole he’s dug for himself. Best to just enjoy the show from the side lines. “Well, at least it isn’t chocolate.”

Ash is the one laughing, now. “Way to be supportive and concerned, Eiji.”

“Just saying, chocolate ice cream is gross,” Eiji giggles. Then sun beams in gold, the snow outside suddenly dancing like fairies. It’s not smothering the earth anymore. Instead, they’re bringing blessings.

“You’re absolutely right and you should say it.” Ash’s smile is etched like a tattoo. Eiji’s voice does that often – almost guaranteed, especially once the giggles begin. The air isn’t so hard to breathe anymore. He lets out a soft sigh, content with where he is and who he’s with. “When are you coming home?”

Eiji hums for a moment, trying to think. Ash could almost see him lolling his head around while he’s trying to figure out an estimation. It’s a cute habit he has that he probably doesn’t even notice that he has, but Ash has learned it. He’s learned them all. Every little quirk and tick about Eiji he’s observed, watching with the fondest of eyes and storing them permanently in his memory. “Around five,” he guesses.

Ash nods. “Okay.” He lets out a breath through his nose. “I miss you already.”

“You’re so sappy,” Eiji chuckles lightly, but he sighs too. “I miss you too.”

It’s almost like the couples they’d see depicted in high school, clinging to each other, afraid to be the first one to hang up. They just remain on the phone for a while, sometimes in silence, just enjoying the company of the other, until suddenly he hears a voice on the other end of the line in faint Japanese. Eiji responds, distant, before he hears the voice becomes clear on the phone again.

“Break’s over.”

Ash swallows hard and he nods. “Okay. I’ll see you when you get home.”

Eiji nods in agreement. “I’ll see you when I get home. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They don’t want to hang up, but Ash still hears three beeps echo in his ear. He exhales softly, placing the phone off to the side now, checking the clock in the meantime. It’s nearly one o’clock now, so it’s only a few more hours until Eiji comes home. He figures it would be nice to surprise him when he comes home to a nice dinner, but he’s really not a good cook.

That’s alright. He’ll just get something nice to take home. It gives him a good chance to go outside and practice his Japanese with native speakers. He glances out the window again, watching the snow fall gently and twirl with the lightest of breezes. He breathes out a sigh of relief, suddenly not even remembering why he was feeling the anxiety he had earlier.

Everything he had gone through may never have been given a reason, but it’s all over now. He remembers once, as a child, he was picked on by some of teammates from Little League. Ash had cried about it when he got home, but he also wanted revenge – it was then when his older brother had told him some words he had forgotten entirely about, words that he wished he remembered a while ago, but he remembers them now.

_“Aslan, the best form of revenge you could ever have is to be happy.”_

He was right. Of course he was right. Griffin always seemed to have all the answers. Eiji seems to remind him of Griffin in this way, always knowing what to do and where to go and how to handle everything. Yet this morning – this afternoon – where Ash wakes up with messy hair and a specific ache in his chest, these words remind him of where he is, of what he’s doing – that he’s having his revenge. That everything is okay again.

He won’t let his past haunt every waking moment of his future anymore. He’s with Eiji, in a tiny little quiet life, on a tiny little island, surrounded by an ocean that pushes the past away.

He’s been doing so well. The past won’t follow him today, and it’s never going to follow him ever again.

Ash’s eyes had lost focus as he sat, thinking, but once he blinks, sighing in relief again, his vision clears and he’s suddenly staring outside, watching a world painted in white. Some of the neighbourhood kids are playing around on the tiny hills outside, laughing in a way that brings no sound up to the fogging window. The room isn’t as cold as it was anymore, a warmth filling the air that one voice can provide.

It’s amazing, what this boy brings.

It’s striking one by the time Ash finally decides to push himself out of bed, change into clothes for the day and face the world with the best form of revenge in mind. He’s probably going to go into town to find something special for Eiji, just because. Just because he’s happy.

He’s bundled up in a coat Eiji bought for him, stepping out into the rest of Sunday with a soft smile on his face and light in his eyes. Ash wakes up in a snowy world, on a tiny island in the middle of a new, quiet life.

And everything is okay again.


End file.
